I saw that picture and couldn't stop laughing. Funny stuff.
Anywhooooooo...
So this morning, I found myself sitting in court. Bright and early at 8am.
For Why? (I can already hear you asking.)
Well, long story short, I got a ticket for a rolling stop and failure to produce proof of insurance.
Both were BS tickets. I DID have proof, but some jackass stuck GUM in my insurance paper copy and shoved it back in my glove box.
When I got pulled over initially, (the officer said I rolled a stop-sign, I didn't, but whatever) I showed the patrolman my card, with the gum in it, and explained that somebody must have done it to be funny (clearly not) and that I was sorry.
The officer didn't care. I got two tickets. So there I was, in court, waiting to produce a judge my proof of insurance and to ask for a continuance on my stop-sign ticket since my lawyer called me and informed me that he was sick and would not be making it on my behalf. No worries I thought. I had to go down there anyways.
I was in line, waiting my turn, when the judged looked at me and said my last and first name rather loudly. I nodded my head and he read off a list of my charges. For the first time ever, I felt like some criminal and given the crowd I was in, my charges were probably the most lame.
He read: "Stop-sign violation, Failure to produce proper insurance and "Ladies Call"...
'What?' I meekly asked.
"Ladies Call - Prostitution."
I was stricken with terror. Clearly this judge had the wrong gal or was just playing a mean joke. I couldn't help but to think how odd it would be for a Ho to drive herself around, but whatever....
'OH NO SIR! I am not a call-girl. Those charges aren't mine. You have the wrong gal.'
The room stirred and there were chuckles. The bailiff looked at me and shook his head. The judge slid his glasses down his nose to look at me.
"What?" growled the judge.
'No, I was stopped for the stop-sign and insurance. I wasn't out whoring. I swear. Please look at the paper work, it can't be mine. I wasn't told by the officer I was being charged with that.'
"Well, did you do it or not?' the judge said, sitting up and glaring at me.
'No, I didn't. I was just going to go jog in the park, that's all.'
The clerk took my file and began weeding through it. I plead not guilty to the stop-sign violation and asked for my continuance and showed him my insurance. Thinking I was good to go, I turned to leave.
"We're not done with you yet. Get back here!" The judge was not happy.
I stood there, humiliated. An officer approached the bench and I thought for sure I was going to get handcuffed for nothing. Instead he grabbed the file from the clerk and informed her that he must have mixed up my information with a girl whose last name is quite similar to my own - therefore, making it incorrectly filed.
He glared at me and said "That's not her. Shit. I have a problem to fix, don't I?" The clerk nodded and told him that he needed to send out a summons for the girl who probably didn't know she had whoring charges against her (although I am sure she knows what she did). The officer took the file (mine) and grabbed the information from it and grabbed the file of the other girl (who was wanted on whoring) and stormed out of the room.
'The officer is taking care of it 'Mam' said the clerk. The bailiff smiled and laughed a bit, still shaking his head.
'Wow. I have SUCH CONFIDENCE in our police and judicial system right now...' I mumbled. A few people heard me and began to laugh.
The judge apologized and dismissed me.
Just another day in the crazy life of Anne. And people wonder WHY I am writing a book about it....
Sheesh.
Later...
A
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