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For those of you that know (or don't know) me, ask others who do know me rather well and they will tell you that I have quite a few guy friends. Guys who can at any time, pick up the phone and get unsolicited female advice on anything ranging from "Why do women do that crap!" to "So does a blue shirt with blue jeans look stupid?" (Yes, it DOES.)
Many of these guys, I have become quite close with and talk to just about anything that happens into the conversation. Female (and some other male) friends do not see how it is possible for two people of the opposite sex to get along as friends without there being the push for more from either party (not a worry with my gay guy friends - Holla!) But there were times with some of the other guys, I wondered why they never asked me out or pushed for more.
I did work up the nerve to ask one. And he told me he was content just to have me in his life as a friend, then not at all. He also brought up the point that if we had ever went out and it didn't work, there would have been that "awkwardness" forever after. Then there is also the point of a guy just not being all that into you "like that". Which, isn't a bad thing at all. In fact he told me "Your cool and all, but that would just be weird." Point taken.
Quite frankly, I like having a person I can joke around with, cry to, share in life's many adventures and have as a stand in as a real boyfriend when needed (of course). It just "works". Sure I may have a boyfriend now, but when I didn't, I liked having this pool of guys to tap for opinions on the guys I was dating when I was single. I almost always got an honest opinion.
"He's a tool." "He's just after you for one thing." "Was he serious with that shirt and hair? He looked like a douchebag." "Darlin', he might very well be gay. I think he was checking ME out."
Yes, I've heard it all from them. I also know that any guy worth a damn must be able to play well with my friends - meaning, get along with all of them. That is always the big test. If he is able to mix well with my friends, he passes. He can move past go and collect his $200.
But sometimes...sometimes dear readers there are those guys who you meet and become friends with and wonder about. Wonder if this guy or that one would be good for you beyond just being a friend. I have ventured down this slippery slope before and yes, it has in fact blown up in my face and the wounds still serve as a painful reminder that not everyone belongs together. That is why I have come to the conclusion that in love, much as it is in life, whatever will be, will be. If it is meant to happen it shall. You can't force anything or anyone and you are better to just have the men that you will keep only as friends.
So, as a "friend" to many men, I sit fascinated by them all. Hearing them tell me excitedly about their latest love interest and how funny she is or how nice she smells (yeah, some details I could go without), what new gadget they bought, or the bullshit call in the game that they were watching on the television, and agree to be a stand in date as needed to company functions or weddings, and smile knowingly.
I smile because I am happy just as he is to have an unconditional friend to share in this little adventure called life. I smile because I know whatever girl lands him or wife he chooses, that she will be very fortunate. And if she breaks his heart, I'll be the girl he calls to help pick up the pieces and take him for a beer to assure him not all women are evil, and the same one who will plot quietly to break that little snot's face for breaking his heart.
I think all women need good guy friends.
I'll keep my best guy friend though, as my boyfriend. After all, he started out as just a friend.
Best,
Anne
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