Thanksgiving Eve. A Thankful Confession.

If you are reading this, please be warned that what I am about to put out here is a baring of my soul and something that I am have kept from most people, even those that know me best, sadly enough. It is almost Thanksgiving and so many people just focus on having a few days to party and be free from work to feast and shop. Sure, those things are nice.

But I am more thankful than most people, to the point that to sit and really think about it (something I have not done in a while) I tear up. I am forcing myself to write, in hopes that I reach a few people and remind them what it really means to be thankful.

You see a few years ago, I found out I was not well. Not well at all. It came right down to the very real possibility that I may not make it to see a next Thanksgiving. I slipped into a period of real depression over the whole ordeal. I found the strength though, to fight back, to get what I wanted from life and push on and live each day like it might be my last. I never knew if I would get better or worse, I just had to shove on.

So, I threw myself into work, school, and setting about seeing my dreams come true and getting well. There were some pretty big bumps in the road along the way (nobody ever said these things are easy) but I pushed on despite being sick as a dog and putting a smile on my face for the world to see.

I remember it was one Thanksgiving in particular, right after we found out I was going to be an Aunt for the first time, that I realized what it meant to be thankful. I was surrounded by family, and I was still here. I also recall going into a room and seeing two very happy looking, pink Gerber Daisies sitting in a vase with a note beside them that read "You are stronger than you know, and no matter what, I will Stand By You."

They were from an ex at the time, and this simple act of kindness broke me down into an absolution of tears. I don't think I have ever cried more in my life. I never told him what those flowers meant to me. He didn't need to hear it, he knew. I went on that day with my game face on, changed forever. It wasn't long after that, he and I parted paths. I never forgot though what he had said - that I was strong.

And I was. And I am.

It was a struggle for a while, but eventually I got well and remain so, and I never take my health for granted. Sure, there has been a few little scares here and there, but I am here and thankful for it. I am thankful that I am alive and can share my life with so many great people.

 [My list. Skip to the end if you don't care to read it...]

I am thankful for my family - I love all of you beyond anything else. We are in this together for life and I am thankful you all have remained my rock and there for me when I needed it most. I am thankful for the weddings, babies, new homes, graduations, and all that is just around the corner for all of you - I am thankful I can be here to be a part of it all and see your happiness.

I am thankful for meeting Brad and becoming a part of his life, and him a part of mine, and know that no matter what the future brings, he will never hate me and dare I say, always consider me a friend - life is an adventure and I am thankful he is a part of mine. I am thankful that I met my dear friend Rebecca, and even more thankful that I know she and I will probably be friends for a lifetime and one day run a successful empire.

I am thankful for my crazy friend Charity who has been there with me through thick and thin and is almost like a sister to me. I am thankful for Anisa, who never judges me, though I do some boneheaded things and for her laugh and for her being a true friend - I am so glad we met and become such great friends.

I am thankful for Micca the one friend whom I can call and pick up right up with right where we left off no matter how much time has past, I am thankful for meeting Hilary, a zany friend who gets my weird (and thinks it's cool) whom shares a love of black cats with me and is a long lost cousin (who knew?), I am thankful DJ - friend and fitness buddy with whom I've grown close.

I am thankful for my friend Craig, who I can always make laugh and just contemplate life with. I am thankful for Justin who I can tell just about anything to and nothing phases him anymore (thankfully). I am thankful for my good friend Marc, who inspires me to one day be as good, as kind, and as hard-working and talented as he is. I am thankful for Jeanna and Kate two women who make me laugh and inspire me to find the little joys in life and love - no matter what form it comes in.

I am thankful for all the other new friends that I have made playing kickball, and am very thankful to Jen for thinking enough of me to ask me to play with such a fun group of folks. I am thankful for new friends Tami, with whom I hope to help her build her dreams, she is such a kind soul and dear person, and Tammy, a gal who is like a wise older sister that tells it like it is and wants nothing more than just to share a joyous moment in life with (I love that). I am thankful for Tony - Big T - a person who is one of the kindest people I know, who shares a mutual love of 'sammiches with me and always make me laugh.

I am thankful for my roomies Rachel and Chris who are like a little family to me and with whom I can share a home, a meal, a laugh, a sob and know that they will always be a friend. I am thankful for silly, funny and kind Amy and I look forward to getting to know her better. I am thankful for Tina, who taught me to believe in me and my talents and who gave me a chance to show what I really can do.

I am thankful for all of the other people that I have met over the past year or so professionally and personally, I am thankful to be able to share my life with you in some way or another, and hope to continue to do so in the future - and get to know all of you better.

I guess what I am most thankful for is the people in my life. Not things. Not materialistic items. It is people who enrich our lives and can share memories with. When faced with an uncertainty of living, you come to know that you can't take things with you, just your memories. I am thankful to have made so many great ones and look forward to making more.

I am thankful to wake up in the morning, with a day of fresh opportunities for really living. I am also thankful for Gerber Daisies that one Thanksgiving. It helped remind me of all I had to live for and give thanks too.

Life is an adventure. And I am thankful to be here and share it with all of you.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone.

All the Best,

A