Tuesday, November 2, 2010

I'm Really Such a Lady (Sometimes).

Once upon time, in a Midwestern city there lived a gal who didn't really fit the status-quo of what a "lady" should be. Actually, she was a far cry from it.

Sure, she could slap on the makeup, do up the hair and step out in heels like the best of 'em, but it wasn't enough to hide who she really was.

She didn't like gossip. Loathed petty women with nothing more to do than to stir drama, and found sitting around bitching about men (an activity most women seem to do rather often) quite boring.

Most women found her to be peculiar, indeed, or just plain didn't like her for reasons she just didn't give a damn to ever know. Maybe it was her smile. Maybe it was her swell sense of humor. Or maybe it was because she had an knack for making darn good apple pie.

Well, this isn't a fairy tale as you all know, it's life. We've all got to suck it up and play the cards we are dealt. I've come to the conclusion long ago that in order to lead a more stress-free life, I had to quit trying to figure out why certain people approved or didn't approve of me.

What I learned was this: Insecurity and jealousy or just plain lack of knowledge or understanding leads people to do and think some pretty jacked up things. I grew sick and tired of trying to seek out people's approval in order to be "liked" or "have them as friends". I'll tell you this, most of the people that call themselves "friends" are the same assholes who will just use you for whatever purpose you can serve or fulfill to them at the time. That friends, is hardly a friend truly worth having.

Thanks, but I have enough of those "friends". I'll readily admit that there are some individuals out there who don't approve of things I've done (or didn't do but was accused of) and choices I've made, but their opinion is truly their opinion and frankly, I've got better things to occupy my time with than trying to change their views.

I've been known to openly express how I feel about certain things and never ask for forgiveness of what I am saying (which really pisses some people off for some reason), be a shameless flirt and sympathizer of (most) men, live out loud, dress in far from conservative outfits most of the time, and do everything else in excess pretty much most of the time. Yes, it's a real far cry from being a lady.

But somehow, I've managed to get to where I am and not look back with any regrets. Regret is a wasted emotion, anyhow. I like to think of myself as the female version of Kurt Vonnegut when it comes to writing (write now ask for forgiveness never) and have a twisted sense of humor like George Carlin. I drink a bit, have been known to enjoy a good cigar once in a while, and appreciate a nice looking butt. It's hard to imagine that I've never been made an honorary member of some boy's only club.

Sure my path hasn't been an easy one. In fact, I am sure it could have been much easier if I were to just "comply" to the roles that are the acceptable standard in our society, but I've never been compliant. I have a few ex boyfriends that will attest to the fact that I can be difficult to handle to say the least and one man who has found a way to balance me completely (I'm pretty sure he'll be up for sainthood at some point).

So to all the other gals out there who don't fit the title "lady", welcome to the club. You are not alone.

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