Cry for Me.

Seeing a man, well any man, cry stirs emotion in any of us - especially women. Men are expected by our society to be pillars and examples of strength and courage. Unwavering and collected. As a woman, to see a man cry, a signal in our heads goes off and we rush into action to comfort.

But I am perplexed. Why is it, most men will not openly discuss and tell you what is going on to upset them so? Do they think we cannot see it all over their faces? And when the tears (the evidence that all is not right) come, do really believe that they can go on and dismiss a moment of being human as perceived weakness?

I once had a gal-pal of mine tell me that when she sees a man cry, it disgusts her. Her exact words were "I need a man to be strong and if he is crying that is being a wuss. And wusses are not attractive at all." Wow. Talk about a heartless you-know-what. Her opinion, though and I am sure she is not the only one that feels that way.

The other day, I took some time to catch up with a guy friend of mine who happened to be in town. I hadn't seen him in a great long while and as we were catching up, I could see his face that something was clearly bothering him. I asked him and he dismissed it, and changed topics right away. I didn't press the issue, but deep down, I really wanted to know, so that I could just listen. Because sometimes, that's all we want - to be heard.

As we sat there chatting about his life, he approached the subject of his dating life. He had a string of relationships that went from serious to seriously over. The women he dated were always of the same type: beautiful on the outside, but painfully shallow (and at times brainless) on the inside. He had his heart tore out a few times by some very thoughtless women and even had one girl dump him in favor of a colleague of his. She even sent him a wedding invite. This was his history.

It was as we were sitting there that he began to well up with tears. I had never seen him like this before. He kept excusing himself and feverishly wiped his face. Finally, he put his face in his hands and just - cried. I moved closer to him and he put his head on my shoulder and cried into it, much like a child would.

I didn't mind. He then sat up and looked at me, with tears clouding his eyes and he said, just once I want someone to cry for me (sorry, I felt like this blog posting needed a song to go with it. Great song too - btw). I didn't understand. He looked at me and told me that he was tired of having his heart broken again and again. He swore that this time, he would be doing the breaking of hearts or just not getting serious at all.

I warned him against doing that. "Eventually," I said "You are going to meet a girl that you think is just some passing phase. And while you are busy pursuing every other little miss piece of something, you'll be missing out on quite possibly the best thing that could ever happen to you, because you'll be too wrapped in the next thing you conquer to see it. And by then my friend, she'll see you for what you are, not WHO you really are and she'll grow tired of it all and be gone."

He sat there and stared at me. His crying had stopped. I sat there not knowing what I had said or done. We sat with just stillness. He leaned forward and hugged me. "Thank, you" he said. I wasn't sure what I done, but I sat there looking at him. Then for some unknown reason, I began to cry. He started to laugh. "Why are YOU crying?"

"I just WISH for ONCE in your life you'd pull your head out of your ass." "I know" he said rather quietly. "I don't like to see you so upset" I told him. "It's just hard sometimes" he began. " I am too good to these women and I always get the same results. Maybe it's time I try fishing in other ponds." "Maybe you should try the ocean. There is a much better variety I hear." He laughed and stood up. Happiness crawled back over his face and he grabbed his coat to go.

"Anne?" he said. "Do me a favor. Write all this stuff done and sell it in a book. Men need to hear this sort of stuff every now and again." I agreed. "And one other thing...." he stopped and turned to look at me.

"I hope that guy eventually sees it. Or he will be missing out on the greatest thing that could ever happen to him." And with that, he stepped out the door.

I don't think I will see him again for some time. But he did text me and thank me for just letting him "have a good cry". I do hope that the next girl that comes along for him will do the same thing. Sometimes all a guy needs is to cry and to be heard. Sure I will always be his friend, but I would like to think that every man has a woman like this that they can turn to.