Monday, August 16, 2010

B.B.B.B. Thoughts and Advice - Taking Out the Trash.

In my previous post, I opened up my blog to people seeking advice. It didn't take long for me to get some folks who want it and would rather not pay a counselor to hear it, or bore their friends with yet another hour of them drabbling on about the same subject that repeats like a broken record.

Enjoy your advice, In Love with a Real D-Bag. I hope it helps and feel free to spread the word.

Dear Big Bad Blonde Blogger:

Recently I found out my boyfriend of over 5 years has been cheating on me for about the last 9 months. When I found out, he apologized and swore that he would never cheat again and that he wanted for us to work things out. I am torn. I have tried to trust him since I found out all of this, but can't completely trust him 100%. I do want for it to work out since the last several years he has been great. We aren't married, but we have spoken about it many times and he insists that he does want to marry me. I am 25, and most of my friends are married and have kids. Most of them say I should try to forgive him and move on and a few said I should just move on. We don't have any kids, but we do live together. I am torn.  do love him and want for it to work out, but a part of me can't shake the feeling that this will happen again. Any advice you can give me would be great.

In Love with a Real D-Bag


Dear D-Bag Lover:


You probably may know what I am going to tell you. That gut feeling you have? Yeah, you should try listening to it. If he cheats once and manages to get away with it, especially for as long as he did, I would bet my best pair of stiletto Carlos heels, that he will again. Leopards don't change their spots dear. That's just the facts of life. Sure, he may go a while without cheating, but soon he'll get that little stir and tickle that will make him anxious and itching for more action.

Now the tricky part: You still love him. NEWSFLASH: IF he LOVED YOU he WOULDN'T HAVE CHEATED ON YOU. Catch my drift? Sure he wants it to work out. It must be great to have some girl waiting around for him while he goes off and puts notches in his belt all over town. The best way to get over him is to GET AWAY from him. Get your own place. Cut off all communication and get on with your life. Give yourself a few months to be guy free. Take time to find yourself again and then if you feel like it, date. Or just go out and have a romping good time, but be safe and smart of course. Concentrate on you and YOUR needs.

I know it will be hard not to wonder what he is doing, etc. but you must resist reaching out, etc. Every time you have the urge to do so, try this little trick: Picture him with some other girl in very compromising situations and that should put that urge right to rest.

So what are you waiting for girl? Go ahead and grab that bag. It's time for you to take out the trash. And to get you motivated and moving in the right direction, here is a song for you.

All the best to you,

B.B.B.B.

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